Holly Schoenbauer couldn’t have imagined how foster parenting would impact nearly every aspect of her and her family’s lives.
Six years after becoming a licensed foster parent, the Northfield mother of three says fostering has been better than she ever expected – her children have become stronger, more patient, empathetic and kind.
Each says they plan to someday become a foster parent.
And now, she’s expanding her reach well past the few dozen children she and her husband Dave have welcomed into their
home. She’s founded a nonprofit, This Is Me, to help children in the foster care system develop a sense of belonging and the self-worth they so often lack.
While foster care is intended to provide a temporary living arrangement, nationwide, foster children live, on average, in 15 different homes; four in their first year. State figures show that in 2024, Rice County foster children averaged two moves.
Because they’ve been removed from their family due to maltreatment or neglect, foster children often have behavioral problems and suffer from complex trauma.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 80% of children and adolescents in foster care have mental health needs. Statistics on young adults who’ve transitioned out of foster care paint a pretty bleak picture. By the time they’re 21, 29% report experiencing homelessness, 20% report being incarcerated and 23% report becoming a parent.
Schoenbauer, who has a dual degree in theology and psychology from the University of St. Thomas and a master’s in Gifted and Talented Education, and is executive director of the Northfield nonprofit, Project Friendship, says that through observation and research, she discovered that foster children see themselves through that lens. In addition to a lack of permanency, few, she’s found, have any personal belongings.
But how, she wondered, could she help kids identify as something other than “foster kid”? And what would it take to make it happen?
“If we can get a child in foster care to see that they’re more than a foster kid, they can direct their lives in different ways,” she said.
This Is Me is working to provide yearbooks, club and team photos, letter jackets, anything that gives kids an identity of their own for the county’s foster children, and collaborating with volunteer photographers to offer milestone photos like senior pictures and at adoptions and parental reunifications. She’s currently raising money and working on several grants to pay for activities like clubs, sports or lessons and is beginning to recruit mentors for the youth 7 and up that would be
paired with children in foster care through This Is Me’s mentoring branch.
And if all goes well, This Is Me will hire full-time staff and, hopefully with the help of grant funding, expand to the 32 counties in southern Minnesota.
While noting that the work isn’t something the child welfare system is built on, Chris Sammon, Rice County Child & Family Services manager, says Schoenbauer’s work is a needed companion to the work of Human Services staff.
“We try to pay attention to the child’s needs through their eyes, but the reality is we’re focused on ‘are they going to have a safe place to sleep?’”she said. “Our funding is built on basic needs, basic care. Holly’s organization is built on the building blocks of who you are.”
Ensuring foster children are seen and heard is THE mission of This Is Me, said Schoenbauer. “Kids in foster care are given what they need to survive,” she said. “This Is Me is giving them what they need to thrive.”
